Friday, January 08, 2010

How to Have Poise, Beauty, and SUPER POWERS

Many thanks to the ever lovely and astute Jen Robinson for alerting me that Jon Scieszka commented about my comment on her Book Lights post, where I opined yet again that Mr. Scieska should write a book for my patrons: "And you and Ms. Yingling are psychic - I'm just now working on a humorous middle grade novel series . . . that also messes around with media literacy. It's called Spaceheadz. The first book is coming out this summer." I can't wait! We will miss Mr. Scieszka as National Ambassador for Young People's Literature, but welcome Katherine Paterson to the post.

My superpowers were on the wane last night because I thought that we would not have school due to snow today, so I read frivolously. Started with Jordan Christy's How to be a Hepburn in a Hilton World, which is more a lifestyle commentary than an etiquette manual. Great cover and title, and fairly helpful information for people in their 20s who, as my mother would say, were raised in a barn. The author is 24, so her advice on how to dress and act, while helpful if one has taken all one's tips from Paris Hilton thus far, seems very mild to someone who refuses to leave the house in a dress or skirt without appropriate underpinnings. Which, of course, are indelicate to mention by name; let's just say that Ms. Christy and I are on opposing sides of the Pantyhose Divide. The advice about imbibing alcohol (in moderation) and sex make this inappropriate for middle school libraries, but I will have my sophomore daughter take a look at it. Good fun, but since I have sweaters older than Ms. Christy, of limited use to me! We are passing this around the office at school.

To follow this, I had a 1960 copy of John Robert Powers' How To Have Model Beauty, Poise and Personality which a friend graciously loaned to me. This, my friends, is how it should be. Stand straight, modulate your voice, brush your hair 100 strokes a night, and never, never leave the house without enough undergarments to clothe 10 Hollywood starlets. Really, the decline of civilization began when men stopped wearing hats, but when casual Fridays came around, we all hopped right into the handbasket.

I did not know that Mr. Powers started the first modeling agency in the 1920s. A biography of him would be very interesting.

Oh, and Westerville City Schools just closed. Great. Time to lock up the building and walk home!


  1. You're superpowers can never wane!

  2. I knew you'd be happy about that comment from Jon Scieszka.

    I hope that you'll use your superpowers for good in the future. ;-)

  3. The Hepburn book looks like a hoot, and something that would make me laugh/cringe as a mother of both a 22 year old and a 19 year old daugher.

    So glad to hear that Jon S. is going to publish for middle grade. My class loves him currently for Knucklehead; another book would be wonderful!

  4. Hilarious post. Jealous of your snow!