Thursday, November 21, 2013

Very Sad News

I am very sad to report that my son David, aka Surly Teen Boy, has passed away.

I will, obviously, be away from the computer while working with my family to get through this difficult time. I have many posts in advance, but they may be a bit jumbled.

It will be difficult for all of us to go on, but our family is hanging in there. We realize that things will get better, just not for a while.  We will all have a variety of emotions, some of them confusing. There is no right way to grieve.
 
We have always been a close family, and one that talks about all sorts of issues. We believe that while David was deeply troubled, he never shared this with us, and there was nothing that any of us could have done to change the outcome. He was a teenage boy in pain, and he made a bad decision to solve his problems with a permanent solution.
 
David is part of our story. We will try to remember the good times. We will remember Day, the kindergarten students who told his teacher the only thing he couldn't do was spell floccinaucinihilipilification. Remember David, the middle schooler with the ponytail who rolled his eyes at his teachers. Remember Vid, who made YouTube videos and was interesting and quirky enough to be written up in his school newspapers both here and in the Philippines.
 
We wish, for all of our sakes, that David's story had a different ending. Make your own story one that brings joy instead of sadness to the world.
 
Because it is human nature to want to know what happened, the very bald Columbus Dispatch article is here. Please encourage anyone you know who is depressed and in pain to get help.

59 comments:

WMM said...

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. There is no words that can possibly give you comfort, but please know you are in my prayers.

proseandkahn said...

My deepest condolences to you and your family. Take all the time you need to heal and I hope you find comfort in each other and your memories. There is no "right" way to grieve. Just your way.

Brenda

Lea Ann Coffey said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Lea Ann Coffey said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Stacey (@libraryjo92) said...

I am so sorry for you loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.

Paige Y. said...

I I am so very sorry. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care.

jonyangorg said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Best wishes you to and your family.

Tamara Cox said...

I am so sorry. I can't imagine the pain you and your family are suffering right now. I am thinking of all of you. Sending love your way.

Kyle said...

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Susan Whittaker said...

I am so, so sorry, Mrs Yingling. I know Rebekah will be sad for you, too.

Please let us know if there is anything we can do.

Susan Whittaker said...

I am so, so sorry for your loss, Mrs Yingling! Rebekah is too. We will be praying for you all.

Susan Whittaker

Raelene Meyer said...

Karen - you are amazing! Our thoughts and love surround your family at this time! You have an amazing family and will journey through this TOGETHER - You are in our hearts. Joe, Raelene, Emma and Audrey Meyer.

Raelene Meyer said...

Karen - you are amazing! You are in our thoughts and love during this time! You have an amazing family and will get though this TOGETHER! You are wrapped in our love and support. Love the Meyer family, Joe, Raelene, Emma and Audrey.

Natalie Aguirre said...

Karen, I am so sorry for your terrible loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Take whatever time you need to be with your family. We'll be here when you're ready to come back to blogging.

Beth said...

Karen,

I remember David as the brilliant little imp racing around my house and asking hilarious yet sophisticated questions while his mom drank my very bad tea.

We are so terribly sorry. Our thoughts are with you. Much love.

F.T. Bradley said...

My heart is broken for you. I wish you strength... Beautiful words here.

Lorena said...

My heart is breaking for you. I will be praying for peace and comfort for you and your family, though I know that those things must seem impossible.

Jennifer Schultz said...

Ms. Yingling, I am so very, very sorry. I wish there were something more I can say. You and your family will be in my prayers.

Joy said...

So sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Joy's Book Blog

Lindsey Kielmeyer said...

I am so sorry to hear about your son. My heart breaks for you. I won't pretend to have any idea of the pain you are going through right now. This post shows an incredible amount of strength and perception at such an early and raw stage.

Being the mother of a quirky and quiet son I know the worry that comes along with hoping the rest of the world can appreciate those qualities that make them so wonderfully unique and special. I want you to know how much I appreciate your involvement with Michael and Cross Country. I have seen such growth in him and I know so much of that is a result of xc. Thank you for helping to bring joy to my son's story.

I know we do not know each other well but if you need anything at all do not hesitate to ask. I feel a great sense of comradery and family within Blendon XC and I offer any support you may need. Your family in my thoughts and I wish you all the strength to get through this difficult time.

Lindsey Kielmeyer

Kristen said...

I am so very sorry for your terrible loss. May you all find peace as you face life without your beloved son and may the memories you mentioned and so many others bring you comfort and even laughter as you celebrate his life and the time you shared.

Jody said...

I am so, so sorry.

Dena BooksforKids said...

I am so sorry. Nobody should have to lose a child. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Liviania said...

My condolences to you and your family.

Cheryl said...

I'm very sorry for your pain and loss. I wish I could say something that wasn't so cliched but that is the first thing I thought of when I read your post.

My mother attempted suicide 30 years ago. I remember the shock I felt at the time even though I knew she was having problems.

Your family will be in my thoughts.

Cheryl

Cheryl said...

I'm very sorry for your pain and loss. I wish I could say something that wasn't so cliched but that is the first thing I thought of when I read your post.

My mother attempted suicide 30 years ago. I remember the shock I felt at the time even though I knew she was having problems.

Your family will be in my thoughts.

Cheryl

Yo Momma said...


I remember Day as a youngster at the library. Know that I am keeping your family in my heart, wishing you courage and hope and love. Your terrible loss is ours as well. Love, Susan Carr

Literary Feline said...

I cannot imagine what you and your family are going through right now. My heart is with you. Sending prayers and thoughts your way along with a great big hug. I am so sorry for your loss.

Susan Tupper said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you in this difficult time. My heart aches with and for you. I hope that in the days to come that the memories will surround you like the love will from your friends and family. Blessings to you.

sandybear76 said...

Mrs. Yingling,

So sorry to hear about your sad news. I haven't been watching your blog lately as I'm now attendance clerk at Huber instead of media clerk at Whittier/McVay. But I do remember you chatting about your kids on your blog as they read various books and running cross country. If there is anything I can do for you, please let me know. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sandy Jones

Kathy Martin said...

My thoughts and prayers are with your and your family as you deal with this very difficult situation.

Sherry said...

I am so sorry. I will be praying for you and for your family as you grieve this loss.

Turkey Hunter said...

Karen,
My heart is broken for you...I am absolutely devastated by your loss. I'm glad you realize that there was nothing that anyone could have done. You are a great mom...a great mom. And from your stories, it sounds like you have a great, strong, and close family. I hope that eventually you and your family will heal together and work through this tremendous loss. You have been in my thoughts and prayers since I heard this news. If there is anything at all that I can do (run an errand, go to the store, bring dinner, drive papers to school), please, please let me know.

-Tiffany Weaver

Caroline Starr Rose said...

I wish I had words. Please know you are in my prayers.

Beth said...

I am so sorry for your loss. From your mentions of Surly Teen Kid I always felt he would have been a good kid for my sons to know -- someone who didn't laugh at reading, or at people knowing what floccinaucinihilipilification meant. I wish his story could have continued on. My thoughts are with you and your family.

wlomano said...

Karen (and family),
I'm am sorry with all my being for your loss. Vid will remain in our memories as he was -- quiet, bright, kind, funny, talented. He will be greatly missed.

You are all in our thoughts and prayers.

Angel Rivera said...

Sorry to hear about your loss. Will be keeping good thoughts for you and your family. Peace.

Brenda said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you and your family will find comfort in happier memories of moments together.

Keren David said...

So very sorry for your loss. I admire your courage in writing this post. Much sympathy for you and your family.

Alex said...

I am so very very sorry to hear about your loss. I know these will be difficult days for your family and hope that you can find some solace with each other. My thoughts have been with you throughout the day and will continue to be.

Alex said...

I was so sorry to read about your loss. I know the days ahead will be very difficult and I hope your family can find some solace with each other as you remember you son. My thoughts will be with you.

Ms. O said...

You and your family will be in my prayers.

Brandy said...

Karen, I'm so sorry. I'm thinking about you and your family.

rlgibson said...

So very sorry to hear of your loss. Will be thinking of you and your family at this time.
with sincere condolences,
Robin Gibson

Bibliovore said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, and for the pain that you and your family must be experiencing right now. You will all be in my thoughts.

SPOA said...

Poor Vid, poor you. I lived with a suicidal person who finally self-destructed in middle age. Your Vid seemed so smart, happy, young and full of hope. My daughter sat next to him in Anatomy this year. I'm sorry this happened, for you and his dad, but also deeply for his sibs. Comfort for children is so hard.

This has opened a conversation in our family, which I know probably doesn't help you but I wanted you to know. I wanted my own boy to know how death thoughts and the call of the suicide siren is pretty normal, and not a solution but an image for transformation. I hope on some level he understands. Boys are so impulsive and it's a hard life.

Let the school children see your grief, let them see your sorrow and how much he is missing in your family and how his absence has devastated you. You have a powerful influence now.

All the best to you, Karen. I'm so saddened this is now a chapter in your story.

wordsandpeace.com said...

sorry to hear about your loss. With my prayer for David and all your family at this time - I follow a book blogger who follows you.

Monika said...

I'm a fellow book blogger, and I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I want you to know I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Melissa Fox said...

Oh my goodness, Karen. How heartbreaking. You and yours will be in my thoughts and prayers while you deal with this. ((HUGS))

Readingjunky said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Know that my thoughts are with you and your family.

Jim Randolph said...

I shared this with my family and we are all thinking of you and your family.

Abby said...

Karen, I'm so very sorry. :( I'm thinking about you. <3

Laura said...

I am so very sorry. I loved hearing about Surly Teenage Boy from your blog and would love to have known him. God bless you and your family.

Becky said...

I am so very sorry. Thinking of you and your family. -Becky

Laura Canon said...

So, so sorry. Wish I could say more. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

KT said...

I am so very sorry.

VanillaOrchids said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

nicole s. said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your family will be in my family's thoughts.

The Book Wheel said...

My condolences to you and your family.

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